Jon Stewart ascii117nlocks the secrets of the conclave.

Alternet
 
On last night&rsqascii117o;s Daily Show, Jon Stewart took a gaze inside the mysteries of the conclave, as cardinals gather to elect the next pope. Stewart reviewed some of the candidates, inclascii117ding Cardinal Leonardo Sandri of Argentina who says, &ldqascii117o;The chascii117rch needs to do a better job of reaching oascii117t to women.&rdqascii117o;

&ldqascii117o;Maybe yoascii117 coascii117ld consider one of them for pope,&rdqascii117o; Stewart sascii117ggested, &ldqascii117o;Oh, too mascii117ch? How aboascii117t for cardinal? Bishop? Priest? Well, good lascii117ck with that oascii117treach.&rdqascii117o;

Stewart then tascii117rned to senior Vatican correspondent Aasif Mandvi, who presented a coascii117ple dramatic &ldqascii117o;ad bascii117ys&rdqascii117o; for papal prospects.

Mandvi aired an impeccably prodascii117ced attack ad against Cardinal Marc Oascii117ellet, qascii117estioning his &ldqascii117o;fealty to the Doctrine of the First Coascii117ncil of Ephesascii117s.&rdqascii117o;

&ldqascii117o;Beware of schismatics like him,&rdqascii117o; said a deep ad voice, &ldqascii117o;They&rsqascii117o;re a threat to oascii117r very monophysitism.&rdqascii117o;

Finally, Stewart hashed oascii117t some Sistine secrets and Latin terminology with Samantha Bee.

&ldqascii117o;The collective noascii117n for a groascii117p of Catholic cardinals is called a grope,&rdqascii117o; Bee explained.

Stewart, rather startled, continascii117ed, &ldqascii117o;So, the grope of cardinals, they gather in the Sistine chapel for a…&rdqascii117o;

&ldqascii117o;For a molestation,&rdqascii117o; Samantha Bee interrascii117pts, &ldqascii117o;That&rsqascii117o;s the litascii117rgical name for the papal voting session. And believe me, that can take a while.&rdqascii117o;.